


Take Me To Church

by thnksfrthimmortals



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Kinda, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mentions of Violence, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-11 17:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4445891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thnksfrthimmortals/pseuds/thnksfrthimmortals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 2022 and the world has gone backwards when it comes to equal rights. Dan and Phil have been together since 2009, but now have to run every, single day to survive. There are people out there who would kill them for who they love. A story of love and loss.</p>
<p>-------------------------</p>
<p>A Phan AU based on Hozier's "Take Me To Church" </p>
<p>Completely in Dan's P.O.V</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Live

It was 2015 when we came out to the Internet. Me and Phil had always been worried about telling the fans, but it turned out they loved us all the more for it. The next two years we spent together we're the happiest of my life, but then in 2017 it all began to change. It started out small at first, little whispers of protests against the legalization on gay marriage, and homosexual couples being allowed to be together. It was like society was going backwards into itself, and we didn't quite know what to do. The following year was when it all started to get serious. Everyone who had come out as a sexuality that wasn't heterosexual was targeted, including me and Phil. At first we thought we could ride it out. We couldn't. It jut got worse and worse until we found ourselves where we are today. Constantly on the run for our lives.

"Phil" I whispered as I gently shook his arm. We'd been sleeping in a run down council estate house for the past week, but we were planning on moving on today.  
"What is it Dan, I just wanna sleep a bit more" Phil mumbled in reply, his eyelids fluttering gently. I almost let him lie there, he just looked so peaceful, but we needed to go. This was our lives now. Constantly running away from everyone, all these people wanting to hurt us. Shaking his arm again, Phil finally sat up stretching and yawning like an adorable cat. I loved him so much, and I just wanted to protect him and take him away from all of this crap. But there wasn't anywhere to escape to. We were stuck in this homophobic world until the day we died, and God did I hate that fact.

We packed up what little possessions we had left, and made a move to leave the house. Opening the door as quietly as I could, we left the house and began to walk towards the open fields that lay ahead of the housing estate. I tried to stay calm and make it look as if we were two mates just walking together, but sweat began to trickle down my forehead and I couldn't stop my heads from fidgeting. If anyone at all recognised us or caught on what we were, we'd be dead within a matter of minutes. I'd heard about people getting clubbed to death, or lynched and I don't think I could face seeing that happen to Phil. I'd rather die than see that happen to Phil.

Eventually we made it to the fields and began to walk along the edge, attempting to keep to the shadows of the trees.   
"Dan, where are we actually going?" Phil asked, catching my fingers in his as we walked.   
"Phil! Don't do that!" I angrily whispered at him, "God if anyone ever saw..."   
"I'm sorry, force of habit I guess" he replied, his gaze dropping to the floor. A sad expression washed over him, and it made my heart catch in my throat.  
"I'm sorry, I'm just constantly on edge nowadays. You know that. You know that box I gave you?". Phil turned to look at me and gave a small nod.  
"Well we're going somewhere, where we can hide it".

It had been around 3 hours since we'd started walking, and the midday sun was beginning to take its toll.   
"Come one Dan, let's just sit down for a few minutes. What harm can it do?"  
"Fine" I replied, dropping my bag with a thud on the ground. Phil flopped down beside me, sighing heavily. He turned to look at me intently, before looking away again.  
"What?" I asked.  
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like now? I mean, if none of this had ever happened. Do you ever wonder what if?"   
"Sometimes, I guess. Sometimes I wonder what life we'd be leading now."  
"You know" Phil said with longing, "we'd probably still be making videos and gaming all day. We'd still be absolute nerds."  
"You're still an absolute nerd" I replied laughing and pushing him lightly on the shoulder. He laughed and turned to look at me, the light from the sun making his eyes sparkle and glimmer. He was about to turn away but I grabbed his chin between my thumb and forefinger and turned his towards me. Leaning forward I captured his lips in a slow and gentle kiss. It was sweet, perfect and in that moment we were just us and nothing else mattered. Eventually Phil pulled away leaning his forehead to mine.  
"If anyone saw Dan..." he trailed off. I just shook my head, we were in the middle of nowhere, no one would've seen. I pulled my forehead away from his, and entangled our hands together. "We could just saty here tonight, you know. It'd be nice to be away from people" I said to Phil, playing with his thumb.   
"Yeah, I'd like that" he said smiling at me and squinting his eyes. 

And that's how we spent the afternoon talking about the past and what could've been and laughing, and holding hands like we used to, until I looked at the sky and saw the first stars begin to appear. Then Phil said something that broke my heart,  
"I just want to live again, you know?".


	2. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Phil, honey, it's a patrol" I whispered. His eyes suddenly shot up and a look over fear washed over his face. I wanted to tell him it was okay and that there was nothing to be afraid of. But then I'd be lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: slight swearing, mentions of violence, slurs (for context)

We must've fallen asleep after talking for so long, because when I woke up it was pitch black, the night enveloping us in its darkness. I glanced down at my watch, trying to make out the time unsuccessfully. That's when I heard it. A quiet sound, almost like the patter of heavy rainfall. Then it clicked. A patrol. 

Shaking Phil's shoulder, I woke him up. I tried to stay calm but my erratic heartbeat took over.  
"Phil, honey, it's a patrol" I whispered. His eyes suddenly shot up and a look over fear washed over his face. I wanted to tell him it was okay and that there was nothing to be afraid of. But then I'd be lying. 

Gathering our bags together, I pulled Phil up by the arm and glanced at our surroundings. The pattering sound had got louder now and I could distinguish it into separate footsteps, stomping their way along the pavement. Looking towards the dark sky, I saw a gentle glow of orange in the distance. Torches. Oh god this was worse than I expected. Usually they just walked the streets and scared off anyone, straight or gay. But this time I knew they meant business. Tonight, they were out to kill.

I grabbed Phil's hand and stalked across the field boundary, towards a beaten down country track. If we could just get further enough up there without been seen, would could climb the bank of the road and hide in the woods till morning. 

Quickly I turned around to check on Phil. He was silently crying, tears rolling down his cheeks in fear. I wanted to stop and comfort him, but there was no time for that now. We finally reached the edge of the field that led into the road, which in turn led up to the country track. If we were going to get to the track, we'd have to run across the road, leaving us exposed for a good few metres. Turning my gaze in the other direction, I saw the blurry outlines of male figures, illuminated by their burning torches. If we were quick and quiet they probably wouldn't see us from this distance due to the dark. Spinning around to Phil, I kissed his forehead gently and whispered for him to follow me. We began to walk across the road, the few steps it took us feeling like hours. We were almost there, almost at the country lane, when I heard a thump behind me. 

In the few seconds between that thump and me turning around, everything went in slow motion. All I could think was 'goddamnit Phil, why'd you have to be so clumsy?'. This was the end of everything, because the group of thugs had surely heard that. As I turned, a part of my mind prayed that they were oblivious to what had just happened. I knew I was being stupid. 

Looking up the road, I saw them all begin to run towards us shouting expletives and slurs in our direction. Yanking Phil up by the arm, I made a horrifying decision. All I knew is that I had to protect Phil. A word without Phil was not worth living in, so I had to protect Phil. I pulled him close and told him to run up the country lane and keep running until he found a spot to climb up the bank and hide in the woods, from there I told him to go to my uncles house. Shoving my phone into his grasp, I told him that the instructions and directions for what he needed to do and where he needed to go were in there.  
"Have you got the box?" I asked urgently.  
"Yes, but what about you?" He asked shaking with fear.  
"I'm going to create a distraction", and with that I pushed him away and he began to run up the lane. 

Taking a single deep breathe, I shouted to the group,  
"Over here you bastards". Then all turned to look in my direction, completely ignoring Phil. Goal achieved, but I still had to get out of this one now. The only I could do was run, so I did.

They ran after me, and but being the unfit, lazy slob I was, they were catching up fast. My mind muddled over possibilities of what I could do, but nothing seemed to spring to mind that could help me stay alive. And then suddenly a life line was thrown to me. A group of kids stood on the corner of a street, smoking something or other. Speeding up my running, I dodged behind them, pulling up my hood, and keeping myself in the shadows. Luckily for me the kids all seemed to out of it to realise my presence. 

The group that had been chasing me, began to slow as they got nearer, looking around in confusion. I pushed my back further against the brick wall behind me, an willed my body to shrink into the shadows.

"Looks like the little faggot got away lads" he said crudely, slowly scanning the pitch darkness around him, "but don't worry, we'll get him next time, mark my words." He continued as if he knew I could hear him. With that the group began to walk away and disperse down other side streets. I let out a silent breathe and cautiously opened my eyes. Most of the group had disappeared, and so I took my chance to escape. 

Silently I walked down the pitch black road, before I saw an abandoned council house in the edge of the street. Walking up to it, I pushed open the front door, which was surprisingly unlocked. As I walked in the living room lay to the right of me, mould growing around the door frame and onto the ceiling. It was disgusting and damp but it would have to do for tonight. Getting out my sleeping bag, I cringed as I lay on the grimy floor. The smell of rot hung in the air. 

As I lay there, I thought of Phil. My beautiful Phil. I hoped to God he was okay, and had made it to the woods. If anything had happened to him I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Turning my head towards the window, I furiously wiped away the tears from my eyes, and stared at the stars in the sky. Little did I know that only a little while away Phil was staring at the exact same stars, praying to God I was alive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading! I had so much fun writing this, and I hope you like the second instalment to this AU. If you enjoyed please feel free to leave kudos, or some feedback in a comment, and if you really really liked it then please keep checking my page for more stories in the future. 

The final installment will be up very very soon.  
-M


	3. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of this AU. We finally discover Phil's fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: slurs (again for context), violence & much angst
> 
> -Look out for italics to signal 3rd person text -

The next morning I woke up with a banging headache and three limbs that took at least 5 minutes to regain feeling. The sunlight streamed through the dusty rags that acted like curtains against the panes of glass, every speck of dust illuminated by the rays of light. A small bird of some sort swooped past the window and perched on the window sill, cocking its head to one side, and looking at me inquisitively. It reminded me that the world was still alive even in all of this. The world was still living, breathing, and that gave me some comfort.

I looked at my watch and the numbers 06:00 shone back at me. I'd have to go now in case anyone saw me leave the house. We may've gotten away last night but with the day, new threats were brought with it. Daylight left me more exposed than the night and I couldn't risk being complacent. Collecting my things together, I crammed them all into my small rucksack and headed for the door. The day was warm and especially sunny for this early in the morning. Again I was reminded how the world was still alive. Something that I'd experience a lot today.

I didn't really know where to go. I mean I guess Phil should be my main priority but he'd probably have left where he'd stayed last night and it would take me a while to catch up with him. I headed towards the road he'd gone up anyway. The morning sun settled warmly on my back, consoling me to a point. God, I missed Phil so much and it hurt to know he was alone, but he wouldn't be for long. I'd get to him, I know I would. After about half an hour of walking up that steep country track, I came to a break in the grassy bank that lead up to the woods beyond. Looking around there was no clue to Phil having gone up here except for the messy broken branches. But what else could I go on? Exactly, nothing. So I went up the bank, and followed the small track that led into the trees.

I followed the track for a good hour or so until I came to a small clearing. The little path ended here, and there was no sign that anyone had been here. Walking over to a tree, I slid down to the ground in defeat. All I wanted to do was find Phil. He could be in trouble, he could be hurt. I mean who knows what kind of horrible situation he could be in. And I was worried. Worried like hell. As I sat, slowly I raised my head to look at the looming forest around me. Then suddenly, something caught my eye. A piece of blue fabric, blowing precariously in the wind, stuck onto a branch in the distance, in what seemed to be another clearing. Scrambling off the ground, I chucked my bag onto my back and ran towards the blue material. As I got closer I began to see other things in the clearing. Signs of a commotion, broken branches, disturbed piles of leaves. And finally Phil's jacket, lying screwed up on the floor. I picked it up, seeing that it had specks of blood dotted around the collar, and the arm had been hastily pulled at causing the sleeve to tear. I had to find him.

I carelessly shoved Phil's jacket into my bag, and the I just ran. Now in front of me I could see large groups of footprints. The group had chased him. I just hoped to God they hadn't got to him before I could get the chance to.

 

_Phil ran as fast as he could, dodging and bending around trees just trying to get away from the group. He knew that Dan's uncle's house was only a short distance away and if he could only get to there, he could dispose of the box and run as far away from here as he needed to. But first he had to lose this group of thugs. Darting around a corner, he saw an opening onto a suburban street and followed it, knowing he was close to where he need to be._

_The quick turn into the suburban street seemed to have thrown the group a little as Phil hid behind a white van parked in the road, watching them as they looked around them for him. Flicking on the phone screen, Phil looked at the address on the home screen. 22 Marshland avenue. Well he was in Marshland avenue, now just to find number 22. Scanning the surrounding houses, Phil suddenly spotted the house. It was around around 10 metres away, and he'd have to run in view of the group to get there. Just as he thought that, the leader of the gang turned to face the road,_

_'Come out, come out where ever you are, you little faggot. You can't stay hidden forever, we will find you eventually. You can't run anywhere, why not make our job easier and your suffering shorter and just come out now.'_

_Phil shuddered at the thought of what the group would do to him. Burn him? Torture him? Kill Him? He didn't want to stay and find out. With a final deep breath he closed his eyes and then opened them, envisioning Dan standing outside the house, arms wide open and welcoming. Then he ran._

Running as fast as I could, I headed towards my Uncle's house knowing that was where Phil would've run to. More signs of running were up ahead of me as I continued following the trail. Night was beginning to fall over me and the sky began to dim to a dark grey colour. Ahead of me I saw an opening of light onto a street. Marshland avenue, where my Uncle lived. But along with the opening I also saw a group of shadows standing, holding torches above their heads. It was the same group who had chased me and Phil the previous night. Hurriedly, with a hand signal from their "leader" they moved forwards in the direction of my Uncles house.

'Phil must be in there' I thought to myself.

_Phil rushed into the house, running swiftly past a confused looking man. Dan's uncle, he thought. Pulling himself up the stairs he turned into the first room and opened his bag. The box. He grabbed it, and went to the thick iron chest that lay under the bed. Following Dan's instructions he put the key in the lock and the chest lid clicked open._

Carefully watching from the edge of the forest, I watched the group head towards my Uncle's house and towards Phil. I didn't have much time. But there was no way I was getting to that house without being caught. Think, my head screamed at me, but no matter how much I thought, I could see no way around this.

I had never been one for religion and believing in a higher being, but now I prayed for some reason. I prayed that someone, somewhere would give me an answer.

_The group began to close in on the house. They wasted no time with knocking on the door, instead they kicked the door down, and rushed inside._

I watched in horror as the group kicked down the door of the house and ran inside. Thats when I began to pray harder, rapidly beginning to say the lord's prayer.

_**Our Father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name.** _

_Phil heard the door swing open, and began to quicken his procedure with the box._

Knowing I had no other choice, I began to run towards the house.

_**Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. On earth as it is in Heaven.** _

_The group split up, all running into different rooms, some running up the stairs. Dan's uncle was knocked unconscious and left on the living room floor. Phil heard them and tried to force the small box open so he could empty the contents inside the larger chest, but it wouldn't budge. His hands began to shake as heard the group run up the stairs and violently push all the doors open. There was no way he was getting out of here alive, he thought. With a crash, the door to his room opened and the group piled inside. One grabbed the box off of him, while the others picked him up by all four limbs and began to drag him downstairs. All he could do was shout, scream and struggle._

I heard a loud scream and looked up in horror at the house, seeing the shadow of Phil being dragged down the stairs. The group were pulling him out of the house, as I watched, I forces myself to stay in the shadows and fought, desperately, my urge to go and fight the group, claw at them, punch them, do whatever I had to do to protect Phil. To protect my beautiful Phil. Instead, I prayed.

_**Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against us.** _

_Phil continued to struggle, putting all his might into fighting to get away. Turning his head he looked up into the street, and saw someone lurking in the shadows. Dan. He smiled widely, tears rolling down his cheeks. When Dan didn't move, he just nodded, mouthed "I love you" and held onto the hope that he'd just seen Dan. His last memory would be of the one he loved most in this world. That was all he needed._

Looking up, I saw Phil turn his head towards me. He smiled tears rolling down his cheeks, but I couldn't move. I couldn't take on twenty men. So I stayed in the shadows tears rolling down my face furiously. Phil looked at me then nodded. He understood. I felt stupid, weak and helpless. Yet I continued to pray.

_**And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.** _

_Phil continued to struggle as the group carried him out onto an open field. At first he was confused, but then he saw the flames. This is it, he thought. The inevitable looms over me._

I watched the group carry Phil onto the field, and cautiously I followed them, my leg running of their own accord as my mind began to shut down in pain. Yet, I still prayed.

_**For thine is the kingdom.** _

_The leader of the group shouted something before holding the box above his head, but Phil's mind blocked out the words. He was numb. The rest of the men cheered, and the ring leader threw the box into the flames. Phil winced, knowing all he and Dan had worked for was lost to fire._

I stared in horror at the scene before me, as the man threw the box onto the flames and they all began to cheer. All I held dear was gone, and Phil was about to leave too. A yet I continued my praying.

_**The power and the glory.** _

_Silent tears rolled down Phil's tears as the group abruptly dropped him to floor._

_'And now to get rid of you, you piece of scum. It's time all of your kind were eradicated, and who better to start with than you', The leader of the group said loudly, eliciting a cheer from the group, and then he said,_

_'Finish him boys'._

_With that 4 men picked Phil up and began to carry him towards the flames. His body began to shut down knowing death was coming. He thought of Dan, trying to calm his mind. Phil wanted his last thought to be of that boy. The boy he'd found all those years ago, the boy he had grown to love so dearly it hurt, the boy he'd wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The world hadn't made that possible, but Phil was still grateful. Grateful for all the years he'd been able to spend with the only human being he'd ever truly cared about. And that made his short existence mean something. Phil closed his, finally, as two more tears escaped his eyes. Dan, he thought, and then it was warm and black._

_Dan watched on in fear, tears spilling uncontrollably down his face. He sobbed quietly not wanting this to be happening. The man he loved most was going to do die and he didn't want to see it happen._

_As they picked Phil up, Dan closed his eyes and finished his prayer._

_**Forever and ever, Amen.** _

_\- fin -_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading chapter one of Take Me To Church! Please remember to leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed it. This will be a three part fanfiction, with some warnings (e.g violence) in the next two chapters. 
> 
> If you want more stories in the future please feel free to follow me or send me phan prompts through my tumblr @thnksfrthimmortals. See the tag #mollywrites for updates.
> 
> -M


End file.
